We cannot speak for you
we have not walked your path
the path that wore down your shoes
the shoes that are now piled high
in glass cases that we file past
silently.
We have not walked your path
and cannot speak for you
but silence allows your deaths
again and again and again.
previously published at: Poetry Songs and Writers in Scotland.
Journeys for Read Write Poem
15 comments:
Oh the ending of this is very fine, Juliet. Powerful.
and i for one am thrilled not to have the suffocating responsibility of judging anyone or anything ,,, but myself... very nicely done.....
The repeating lines work well here, mimicing the lines of visitors filing past. Great images and sounds.
Pithy. And timely.
That ending! Wonderful! It slowed me down and I savored it!
Incredibly powerful.
I immediately thought about the huge greyed pile of shoes at the Washington, DC Holocost Museum.
Shoes have so much to say. The repetitions sticks to the mind.
Chilling & powerful, Juliet.
paisley - thanks, its about witnessing, nut judging
deb - I wrote it after visiting Auschwitz.
Gautami - specially these shoes
Jo, Dick, Linda, mariacristina, sb - thanks
A long walk poem with effective use of repetition with variation, 'path...past' The rhythm has care taken over it, and the structure, this care in the writing gives the whole piece a deeply respectful tone, perfectly appropriate to its setting and theme. There is a depth in the imagery. The central metaphor is not strained. All in all a very effective, carefully composed poem which speaks with great elegance of solemn respect and dignity.
serious review there, gingatao, thanks!
This is really good. The repetiition works for me, too.
That last verse is masterful, Juliet.
Really appreciate the message here.
Please join us at The Last Piaster. Our aim is to present writing exercises designed to sharpen old poetic tools and provide you with new ones. New piasters will be posted on Sundays. Periodically, we’ll ask permission to share your drafts.
thanks for sharing your poem about shoes, now I will have to look for more! love, etc Ruby
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