Wednesday, April 16, 2008

At the Bus-stop

I remember your straggly hair
unfashionable clothes
painful pale thinness
world weary air
persistent cough
your daily struggle to find change.

I remember the day you were no longer there.



Previously published in Poetry Scotland

People for Totally Optional Prompts

20 comments:

Jo said...

Powerful last line.

gingatao said...

Ah ha! I read it as change and thought him a philospher I read it is as change and thought him a beggar, cool poem,

Crafty Green Poet said...

Paul - cool comment, its change as in that needed to pay for bus fare.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

I think the last line says it all..

Scot said...

good one--I write about this topic as well--keep it up and yes--very good ending!!

my backyard said...

this is such a classic bus stop poem. I used to commute regularly by bus.

gautami tripathy said...

I can feel the deep sadness.

common man

shubd07 said...

How often one sees these struggling individuals simply trying to exist...
Very touching..

Juliet I have written a poem about a 39 year old who suffered from cancer.It is not about any prompt on any site .

Could I invite you to read it ?

http://la-muse07.blogspot.com/2008/04/life-in-hurry.html

tumblewords said...

So vivid, the diesel fumes are present. Wonderful!

polona said...

i feel as if i knew the guy...
painfully beautiful

paisley said...

i believe that allowing oneself to be branded with the essence of humanity,, is one of the keys to eventually finding ones self....

christine said...

Great work. A struggle for any kind of change is draining. The last line seals the poem in an aprupt, stark way– great line!

Linda Jacobs said...

It takes so much talent to be concise and you've certainly achieved it here! What a picture!

Aareet Krsna said...

Descriptive yet compact. The finality of the last line helps bring you down to earth. well written!

anthonynorth said...

Says it all, in so few words.

Noah the Great said...

Ooh, this grips me.

odessa said...

the last line is way powerful. beautiful words fors such a sad, sad reality. i see this everyday too.

sister AE said...

The first part is a clear vision, but the last line is pure power. It left me saying "Oh!"

magiceye said...

poignant....

Cynthia said...

a ache, reminds me of rachal
hadas' empty bed chapbook.