Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Bouquet

She gave me cheap carnations,
petals falling too soon
in the cold room.

I said flowers weren’t the point.

She brought more anyway,
their pale presence
filling the silence.

It was easier than talking.



Romance for Totally Optional Prompts


Previously published in Raindog

15 comments:

gingatao said...

That is beautiful, the poem turns so slightly into sadness while retaining its delicacy of tone and graceful beauty. The silence, the unspoken in it gives it a resonance, beautiful and sad delicate poem,

Crafty Green Poet said...

Thanks gingatao, you say the nicest things about my poetry...

polona said...

oh, i like the melancholy feeling this conveys... beautiful.

noahthegreat said...

That's really rough, tugs at my heart strings, well, if I had a heart.

paisley said...

that is so simple,, and yet it has a hollow feeling.. it makes me reminiscent of denying a loss,, even the death of a relationship... very nice...

gautami tripathy said...

It underlines that plastic feelings which is inevitable in certian relationships.

hedwyg said...

Wow - that is potent in its simple elegance. Beautiful. Thank you.

Brian said...

Talk to me, instead, more cut and dying flowers. What a brilliant and brittle poem Crafty.

anthonynorth said...

An excellent melancholy expression.

tumblewords said...

Wonderful poetry about a subject that can take many paths. I love this one!

Linda Jacobs said...

Even the room is cold to go along with the cheap carnations and silence. Each word is so perfect in here!

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Talk about 'say it with flowers!'

Rethabile said...

I like how the rhymes don't yell, "Look at us, we rhyme!" That contributes to the gentleness of the poem.

goatman said...

With some, I believe that I would prefer the flowers. Nice expression nicely done.

Billy said...

I think the single lines (4 and 8) really reinforce what the poem is saying in terms of cadence and placement. Really fine work.