She gave me cheap carnations,
petals falling too soon
in the cold room.
I said flowers weren’t the point.
She brought more anyway,
their pale presence
filling the silence.
It was easier than talking.
Originally posted on this blog in 2008 for Totally Optional Prompts
First published in Raindog
I've also reposted an old poem over on Crafty Green Poet, you can read it here.
15 comments:
That is beautiful, the poem turns so slightly into sadness while retaining its delicacy of tone and graceful beauty. The silence, the unspoken in it gives it a resonance, beautiful and sad delicate poem,
Thanks gingatao, you say the nicest things about my poetry...
oh, i like the melancholy feeling this conveys... beautiful.
That's really rough, tugs at my heart strings, well, if I had a heart.
that is so simple,, and yet it has a hollow feeling.. it makes me reminiscent of denying a loss,, even the death of a relationship... very nice...
It underlines that plastic feelings which is inevitable in certian relationships.
Wow - that is potent in its simple elegance. Beautiful. Thank you.
Talk to me, instead, more cut and dying flowers. What a brilliant and brittle poem Crafty.
An excellent melancholy expression.
Wonderful poetry about a subject that can take many paths. I love this one!
Even the room is cold to go along with the cheap carnations and silence. Each word is so perfect in here!
Talk about 'say it with flowers!'
I like how the rhymes don't yell, "Look at us, we rhyme!" That contributes to the gentleness of the poem.
With some, I believe that I would prefer the flowers. Nice expression nicely done.
I think the single lines (4 and 8) really reinforce what the poem is saying in terms of cadence and placement. Really fine work.
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