Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Unspoken

Once every six months he phones,
puts the receiver down
as soon as she answers.
He just wants to know she’s still there
reckons that once every six months
a silent call won’t freak her
has no idea how much
she wants it to be him
wants him to speak
say something, anything,
and that once every six months
is just enough to break
her heart.


previously published in Curlew magazine

dialogue for Poetry Thursday

32 comments:

daisies said...

oh ~ an instant favourite! really poignant ...

desert rat said...

So tragic - don't know what else to say. Really well done.

gautami tripathy said...

This touched a raw nerve...

sciolist said...

A beautiful, touching poem.Loved it.

Catherine said...

That leaves me wondering what the rest of the story is - very effective

ren.kat said...

Oh wow, been there. Not sure I like you for bringing me back so well ;-)

Pauline said...

I'd be forced to change my number. The heart can take only so much...

Nicely done, CGP

paris parfait said...

Oh, the heartbreak! Such a familiar story for so many. Well done.

Jessica said...

This is pretty authentic and a nice portrait of the situation.

Becca said...

Sometimes the words that are left unsaid are the most powerful of all.

Well done.

Regina Clare Jane said...

As others have said, I can only repeat. This was so well done and I loved the simplicity of it...

LJCohen said...

An effective piece--it got me emotionally involved in the live of the two characters. And in under 100 words. Well done.

chicklegirl said...

You must know my ex-boyfriend, right? This poem is so spare, so economic in its use of words--and yet the beauty of it is that everything necessary to capture that pathos perfectly is articulated. I loved it.

Beth said...

Oh my...that literally brought back some memories for me. I can just FEEL the pain dripping from your words. Truly a wonderful poem...full of emotion.

jim said...

Great dialogue, nondialogue. Way intelligent about the way we behave, or misbehave.

bookbinds said...

very poignant and touching piece. Thanks for sharing.

Tammy said...

That would break my heart! Well done!

Dave said...

I like this.

Clare said...

Really, really good! I'm rooting for them to get to talk someday!!

sarala said...

You have a way of disturbing us with your poems, in a good way.

wendy said...

A universal theme of longing and restrait. Very well done.

SquareTraveler said...

Something about this took me aback a little. I didn't expect it to be so effective. Very nice.

Beaman said...

A truly powerful piece. It's perfect.

Remiman said...

Juliet,
This is so real it feels like a cut. Very well done.
rel

Lisa said...

I absolutely love this one. It's perfect. I think it's interesting that they're connecting in an odd sort of way.

...deb said...

Me, too! Love the brevity, intensifies the punch.

Ron said...

I hate coming late to the party. What can I do but repeat what has already been said...loved this, poignant, powerful, paper-cut sharp. Wonderful!

ISRAEL FLORES said...

Wow, seems like I've have been in that situation before. Very personal poem, short and powerful.

_Soulless_ said...

I wholeheartedly agree with the comments above, especially those of Pauline and Jim. (There's not much else I could add; we readers of this piece seem to be riding the same boat. ^_^)

Feels great to be back here after several months. I've been checking out past poems here (and, later, on your other blog); I've much enjoyed reading "Coming of Age."

Cheers.

Joy said...

Hi, I followed you from ClockworkChris. I loved this poem, it's so touching
Thank you for sharing

Joy

AscenderRisesAbove said...

I am thinking she is only going to think it is sweet for a short time period; then she is going to get creeped out because it has been a year and half; then mad - change the number; he calls again. ok it is two years now; long past the time for a restraining order.

fun to read it and the comments about it.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

Love this and want to jump in and tell them to speak the next time. This breaks my heart.