Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Smoke and Mirrors

One of a dying breed
an elegant smoker, you lean
casually against the wall
and watch the room
through the mirror.

You kiss your girlfriend
and whisper - a smokescreen
of lies, while you reflect
on another woman.

Your girlfriend keeps
a voodoo doll in her pocket
savage with pinpricks.

Smoke prickles her to tears.


Smoke and Mirrors for Totally Optional Prompts

17 comments:

polona said...

this has a making of a film noir

Paul said...

Nice one !!

Billy said...

I felt as if I had read an entire short story. That's what I call poetic compression !!! And I agree with the "noir feeling." Nice one.

noahthegreat said...

I agree with billy.

Such a great story in so little words.

paisley said...

ohj that was good... for some reason the term "staccato" comes to mind...

loved it

flyingstars said...

lovely words...you have crafted it beautifully!

Stan Ski said...

Some of the many different devices we all use to trick others as well as ourselves

'soulless' said...

From the gypsy-life allure to mystical voodoo. Wow, you're on a roll! ;)

anthonynorth said...

To paraphrase the song:
Smoke gets in your mind

gautami tripathy said...

As with that Deep Purple song,

Smoke on the water, fire in the sky...

mindplay

tumblewords said...

I know this story! Great word choices take me right to the scene of the smoke.

Lisa said...

You captured the cad nicely and in economy of words! I liked it very much.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

How true.. sounds like a proper sweet talkin' guy. Ouch...

Jo said...

(Laughing at Andy's comment.) Superb, yes I love how some poems can really say so very much.

gingatao said...

What an interesting and complex poem, so much done with so little, very open phrasing,

odessa said...

i agree with polona, this is definitely film noir. i love how it tells us of a complex story in so little words.

Blu said...

I adore these erotically-gothic-
mysterious pieces ... especially
love the smoke prickles her
to tears.